


Intruder Alert

by PAPERSK1N



Series: One shots/Ficlets [15]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, M/M, Mentions of Sex, but Fake AH Crew are on a break, no explicit stuff, not really gta angst or anything, stupid sort of fluffy drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 23:20:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3707233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PAPERSK1N/pseuds/PAPERSK1N
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're on a break, and all Ray wants to do is lounge around, and spend as much time as he can with Ryan, <em>alone</em>, before the cops are off their backs and work picks up again.</p><p> </p><p>But Geoff just <em>has</em> to ruin it.</p><p>(Ray knows how to get his revenge)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intruder Alert

**Author's Note:**

> Random drabble that came into my head! Kudos and comments appreciated <3

The movie was garbage, and Ray and Ryan barely had enough time off to choose to spend any of it watching _Netflix_ , so Ray was more than happy to be straddling Ryan’s lap, lips pressed together and hands just beginning to wander into _all_ the right territories.

Their kiss was messy as Ray’s hips rocked into Ryan’s slightly, both of them panting. Ray couldn’t help but smile as he buried his hands into Ryan’s long hair, running his fingers through it.

“Have I ever told you that I really fucking love you, dude?” he asked. Ryan grinned.

“You have, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love hearing it.” He replied, kissing Ray again on the lips.

“Bedroom?” Ray asked.

Ryan opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a knocking at the door. He narrowed his eyebrows, turning his face so Ray could only mouth at his cheek.

“Just leave it!” Ray whined as Ryan laid him back on their couch, and stood up, heading to the door.

“Nobody apart from the crew knows we’re laying low here.” Ryan said, as another knock at the door could be heard. He picked up a gun from the counter. “So who the fuck would be knocking?” he finished.

Ryan approached the door slowly, and Ray sat up, crossing his arms and pouting slightly. The door swung open, and Ryan’s gun was out in a second.

“Hey guys!”

“For fucks sake.” Ray groaned, as Geoff stepped through the doors. “Aren’t we meant to be on a break?”

“Yeah, I know- so I thought we could hang out.” Geoff replied, grinning and closing the door behind him. Ryan sighed, clicking the safety back on the gun and tossing it back onto the counter.

“We were sort of in the middle of something.” He said quietly. Geoff either ignored or didn't hear him, taking off his tuxedo jacket and flopping down on the couch next to Ray.

“What’re you guys watching?” he asked. Ray glared at him.

“Why are you really here, Geoff? What do you want?” he asked. Geoff sighed, leaning his head backwards. He closed his eyes and faced the ceiling.

“If you must know, Gavin and Michael are loudly having sex in my apartment, okay?”

“Gross.” Ray scoffed. “I can see why you’d want out.”

“Is it cool if I hang out here for like an hour?” Geoff asked. Ray sighed, but didn't want to send his friend back to _that_ , so he reluctantly nodded.

“Fine.” He picked up the TV remote, unpausing the movie. “But just this once.”

* * *

 

The second time it happened was almost identical. Ray had just taken things a step further, fingers creeping up Ryan’s t-shirt as they made out on the couch, when the doorbell rang again. Geoff’s voice was heard on the other side, begging them to let him in.

All he did was sit on the couch and watch Netflix, drinking the six-pack he had brought along himself, but Ray felt _livid_. Geoff was his friend and technically his boss, but that didn't give him the right to destroy his and Ryan’s sex life.

He was beyond antsy, bouncing on the balls of his feet in the kitchenette of their safe-house apartment, trying to will away his hard on. This would be the last time, he told himself.

Ray was wrong. He actually had Ryan between his legs, kissing at his neck and his collarbone, fingers just dipping into the hem of his waistband when the door flew open, and Geoff walked in.

“God _fucking dammit_.” He shouted, sitting up and looking around. Geoff sighed, and shrugged, closing the door behind him.

“Honestly, they're like fucking _rabbits_.” He said. Ryan groaned, sitting up off of Ray so Geoff could sit between them on the couch.

“How did you even get _in_?” Ray asked.

“I have a spare key, duh.” Geoff shrugged.

“How the fuck do you have a spare key to _my_ secret apartment?” Ryan asked incredulously. Geoff scoffed.

“Keeping one under the doormat? You guys are asking to be fucking murdered, come on- I did you a favour taking it.”

“Fuck you, Geoff.” Ryan laughed.

“Seriously, fucking leave dude. You’re ruining my sex life.” Ray whined.

“Ew, gross, I get enough of that at my own home.” Geoff said.

“Why don’t you just kick them out if it’s that much of a problem?” Ryan asked. Geoff sighed, slumping back into the couch.

“I can't kick ‘em out.” He said. “I’m the one who fucking invited them to stay with me in the first place. They’ve always stayed with me back in the penthouse in LS, and usually it isn’t a problem but… we’ve been laying low for longer than we usually do and… they get bored. It’s a small apartment and… they haven’t got anywhere else to go.”

“Why don’t they just buy their own apartment?” Ryan asked. “Then they can bang as much as they want!”

“Can’t afford it.” Geoff shrugged.

“Bullshit!” Ray yelled. “We’re a gang. We literally rob banks, and you’re telling me they can't afford rent on an apartment in downtown Austin?”

“Yeah, so what?” Geoff asked.

“Those little pricks turned over at least half a million on the last heist, easily!” Ryan exclaimed, throwing his hands up. Geoff rolled his eyes.

“They’re kids, Ryan- that money was spunked away quicker than you could say ‘invest’ or ‘start a savings bond’.”

“Half a million dollars? What they fucking _buy_?” Ryan asked. Geoff shrugged.

“A fuck-ton of dope and Michael’s stupid chrome car and Gavin’s fucking stupid bike to name a few.” He grumbled.

“I thought Gavin sold the bike?” Ryan asked.

“He modded it out, sold it on accident and then bought it back for twice the price.” Geoff explained, rubbing his hand across his forehead.

“How the _fuck_ do you sell a bike on accident?” Ray asked.

“How does Gavin do _anything_?” Geoff scoffed, throwing his hands in the air. “Kid’s a moron. He’s also _very_ _loud_ during sex, apparently.”

“Ew, okay, I didn’t ask.” Ray squirmed, resting his chin on his knees.

“What about Jack?” Ryan asked. “What’s he saying about all this?”

“Jack’s chasing tail in Australia right now.” Geoff explained.

“Jack? Getting laid?” Ray laughed. “No fucking way- who is it?”

“Oh he’s absolutely punching above his heavy weight.” Geoff laughed. “She’s twenty three _and_ she’s a model. Nice girl.”

“ _Twenty-three?_ She’s younger than me! He’s practically _cradle robbing_!” Ray laughed. “And she’s a model? Fucking hell, how did he score that?”

“I fucking ask myself the same question every day.” Geoff shook his head. “But in short, no, Jack can’t help me.”

“Well, it’s your apartment Geoff. Just tell them to… stop. Or rent them a fucking hotel room.” Ryan sighed, reaching into the coffee table drawer to grab a cigarette. Geoff sighed, resting his head in his hands.

“I might have to.” He said. “Seriously, those two morons bang more than anyone I’ve ever met... Even more than you two.” He added after a pause.

“Well, that’s not hard considering since your little issue started I've been getting half of what I usually get.” Ray mumbled, taking a cigarette for himself. Geoff groaned.

“Please, I don’t want to know.”

“I’m just saying, you don’t want to walk in here unannounced again, because I can guarantee you’ll be seeing my dick, alright?”

Geoff laughed. “Alright, I'll stop showing up unannounced. I'll solve the fucking problem.” He stood up, stretching. “Thanks for having me over, anyway.”

“No problem.” Ryan smiled. The pair watched as Geoff left the room, suspicious half smirk on his face.

“He’s planning something.” Ray said. “But as long as it means no more interruptions, I'll be happy.”

“A-fucking-men!”

* * *

 

It was two days before Ray and Ryan were interrupted again. Ray was sat up on the kitchen unit, Ryan between his legs, kissing him slowly, teasing his fingers at Ray’s upper thigh. The door didn't open, but the bell rang over and over, until reluctantly, Ryan went to answer it.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Ray groaned, hopping down from the counter and heading to the door walking quickly to overtake Ryan. Ray opened the door with a frown on his face and a clenched fist, ready to start yelling at Geoff, but was instead met with Michael and Gavin, swaying at the doorstep.

“Hey… X-ray and Rav- or Ryan.. sorry.” Gavin slurred, idiotic grin on his face. It was clear from the smell alone that he and Michael were both drunk out of their minds.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Ray looked angrily to Ryan, who shrugged.

“Can we crash here?” Michael mumbled as pushed his way into the apartment, Gavin not far behind him. “Geoff kicked us out.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him, I am.” Ray whispered through gritted teeth. Ryan laughed, hands settling at Ray’s hips. “It’s fine, we’ll just ignore them.” He whispered back.

“You two can stay in the spare bedroom on the left, okay.” He called to Michael and Gavin, who were giggling where they stood. They both nodded, before scurrying off into the bedroom.

“There.” Ryan smiled, pulling Ray back towards him. “Problem solved, two passed out drunks. Now back to business.” He pulled Ray to the couch, the younger settling on top of him, and started kissing at Ray’s neck, sucking a dark mark into the side.

They’d only been kissing for thirty seconds when they first heard it.

_“God, yes, Michael! Please!”_

_“Fuck, Gav- oh, shit.”_

“No.” Ray whined, burying his face into Ryan’s neck. “I’m gonna fucking kill Geoff.”

The slapping of the bed against the wall was the loudest sound, and echoed through the apartment. Ryan sighed.

“How can they be… co-ordinated enough to do that?” he wondered aloud.

“I don’t care.” Ray shook his head, climbing off of Ryan, and slipping his vans on. “All I know, is Geoff deserves what he’s about to get.”

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked as Ray slipped his purple hoodie on. Ray smirked.

“Get your coat and your fucking shoes, Ryan. We’re paying Geoff a small visit.”

“Do I need to bring any of my torture tools?”

Ray paused, as if he was thinking it over. “No,” he eventually said. “I’ve got a different type of torture in mind.”

* * *

 

“I just want you to know that I really fucking hate you right now.” Ray said, smiling in Geoff’s doorway. Geoff just sighed.

“I know,” he said. “But this is cool, you guys can just stay here! No biggie, right?”

“Sure.” Ray said, smile way to wide to be sincere. “We’ll just stay here.”

Ray and Ryan disappeared quietly down the corridor, leaving Geoff behind them. The boss frowned, unsure what the suspicious look on the pairs face meant. After a few moments of staring into the empty hall, Geoff shrugged, moving to sit back down on his own couch and un-pause his game.

He was barely ten minutes into the first level when he heard it.

_“Fucking hell, Ryan, God, fuck, yes!”_

_“Oh, fuck, mhmm.”_

_“Shit, yes- oh fucking hell, yeah, right- **oh** ”_

Geoff closed his eyes, pushing his head back against the wall, controlled tightly gripped in his hands.

“I hate you!” he called out, standing up from the couch. “I deserve this but I hate you both.”

“ _Good!”_ he heard Ryan call back.

“ _Now fuck off out of here!”_ Ray’s voice called after him. _“Find a hotel room or something.”_

They resumed their… actions, and Geoff groaned, picking up his keys and a gun before heading out of the door. He pulled out his phone as he left the apartment, dialling Jack’s number.

“ _Yeah, I know,”_ Geoff was saying as he climbed into his car. “ _It’s totally unfair. Everyone’s getting laid except for me…. What do you mean you have to go?...Are you about to go and get laid right now?...Oh, fuck you Jack, I liked you a lot better back when you were single.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out my other fics! I have a mavin/raywood high school AU currently being updated weekly, and a bunch of other stuff in production, including a super-power AU, a student/teacher AU, and a Lawyer AU that'll all be finished and posted in the foreseeable future. So stick around! (I also take prompts, leave them in the comments of any of my fics written in the Prompt Shit series!)
> 
> Thanks<3


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